Last evening we had a lengthy discussion. We shared with each other: our fears, limitations, what challenges we’re having with each other, and most importantly, what we’re reflecting to one another, and what the subconscious is continually trying to bring into our consciousness.
Reflecting on this conversation, some inspirational words have come my way, and I came to a startling realization: that I’m no longer in love with my soulmate. Feelings have changed, actions have changed, reactions have changed. Hold on. Before you overreact to that statement, allow me to clarify. I’m no longer IN LOVE, because I AM LOVE with my soul’s partner.
The ultimate realization, and purpose, in a deep soulful partnership, is to realize we are pure beings, pure love at our core. That we are spiritual beings having a human experience, and that ultimately, we are the same spirit, discovering itself through each other. Love is what we truly are, and it’s what we’re here to experience. In realizing this, as we’re challenged to deepen our love, we’re presented with the opportunity to increasingly embody the spirit of love, and shift from being “in love”, to being love itself.
Sure, it’s easy, and it’s smooth sailing when you’re “in love”. But at some point that euphoria passes, no matter how fateful or divinely inspired the relationship is. What you’re left with when the feelings of being in love fade, is a flawed human being, who wants what every human soul in existence craves: to be whole, fulfilled, healed, to experience happiness, peace of mind, inspiration, and to be LOVED, completely & unconditionally.
The reality is that every one of us human beings is flawed, broken, and in need of healing. Nobody is perfect, and this world sure is far from perfect. Being human is a hell of a burden. We fall in love because we see the light in another, and they recognize the light in us. Light attracts light, and this light is spirit. We see pure illuminated beauty, potential, radiance, the pinnacle of what we are as human beings. We fall in love with all of these wonderful & beautiful aspects. For the luckiest among us, these euphoric feelings of loving every little thing about our partner, of feeling that they can do no wrong lasts for years.
I lost track of how many years it was before we actually gave each other our first dirty look, were snippy, short, or inconsiderate with our speech. It was literally years of bliss, sweetness, and tenderness. This is no exaggeration. At times people were disgusted with our PDA
Eventually it fades. As human beings, inevitably, all of our darkest & deepest aspects will bubble to the surface. When you’re in a deeply committed relationship, peeling layers & revealing deeper aspects of yourselves, it not only accelerates this surfacing, but puts them on a collision course. And added to the mix, we have the challenges & demands of life & society, such as finances, and having to work to survive, that are forced upon us, tug at us, and pull each other further away. It’s not a coincidence that the majority of marriages & relationships fail.
I’ll go as far as to say that it’s due to intelligent design that all relationships unfold in this precise & calculated manner. But why is it designed this way? How is love ultimately about our spirituality?
It’s simple. We’re pushed to grow and expand, and deepen our love. To become love. To become spirit. We’re asked to evolve, to experience more of our divinity. We all have undesirable traits, habits, conditioning, pain, sorrow, demons, and skeletons in our closets. It’s human nature. When we’re in love, these parts of ourselves are either overlooked by the other, or not at the surface. When they do begin surfacing in a relationship, this is when the true test begins, and where most partnerships or marriages will fail.
We’re not exactly able to be “in love” with another’s flaws, with their pain. This is where we are tested to BE LOVE. What does it mean to be love? Being love means to be allowing. It means to be patient, accepting, open minded. Being love means having awareness, mindfulness, understanding, compassion, humility. It means recognizing that you are one heart, one spirit, discovering itself through each other. Being love means honoring, and having gratitude that you’ve been blessed with the opportunity to experience the highest states of bliss & ecstasy available in the human experience, with another soul, another spirit.
Above all else, it’s providing the opportunity, and allowing the space for your partner to grow & blossom into their highest potential. This is what true love is. True love is being able to see your partner for who they truly are. You’re able to see them for what we all truly are, which is love. You’re able to recognize & set aside your own personal limitations, your judgements & condemnations, and open up for them, allowing them to be who they are at their absolute darkest, and their absolute brightest. Being love means having the courage to grow with your partner, and to recognize the gifts, the blessings, and opportunities in the yin & yang, the dance of shadow & light.
True love is allowing them to be imperfect, to repeat the same destructive patterns, to fail, to be human, to experience what their soul needs to experience. In being love, you allow the space for the conditioned, personalized aspects of the self to play themselves out, and to eventually fade & dissolve. As the layers of our conditioning are peeled, our true spirit, the spirit of love begins to shine through. It doesn’t mean being perfect, but it does require a commitment, a sense of purpose, and having faith & trust in the process of love.
A commitment to growth, a commitment to honoring the sacred gift of love. A commitment to helping each other heal, and to co-pilot this journey of experiencing our highest & deepest states of bliss & fulfillment.
Burke “Buddha” Coleman